Okay moms, raise your hands if at the end of the day you feel like you’ve failed to do something on your list, or just want to sleep, but can’t because it’s 2am, and your baby is crying, or your toddler is throwing a fit, and you don’t know what to do? We’ve all been there! Well, the terrible twos have hit my household and here’s how I have been dealing with it!
My terrible twos experience!
Well, I wanted to write this post to share my most recent mom experience, where I went from feeling like a mom that was failing, to one that was thriving!
Recently, in the last few months, since my daughter was born, who is 4 months old now, my son has been acting out a lot! He has entered that terrible- ’18 months phase’ is what I’m calling it. Because let’s be real the terrible twos start early!
I have felt like, I have been failing him as a mom, because it’s been challenging to meet his expectations, while taking care of an infant. But, I don’t blame him for this, seeing that, he was always getting the attention, before this big life changing event happened to him. I was a little naive, in thinking that bringing in the new baby, wouldn’t change a whole lot for him. But, boy, did I miss judge that situation! 🤷🏼♀️
Most of the time, he is really good about his sister being around. I try my best to involve him, in everything I am, doing with her. I bought him a baby doll, so he could mimic my actions. At this age, that’s his favorite thing to do! This seemed to help for most situations! It was so great to see his reactions, and watch him take care of “the baby”.
That soon got old for him though as the time went on. Now, we are 4 months in, and he has started to get increasingly more jealous of his sister. He is always trying to get in between her and I. I am trying to spread myself super thin, to spend as much time with each of them, and take care of the rest of my household to-do-lists!
Consistency with your partner is key!
Thankfully, my husband is my rock in this, and we are always encouraging each other and confiding in each other’s weaknesses and strengths. It’s super important to, set aside your pride, and be able to admit when your wrong, when your having a hard time, and when you need a little help!
My husband and I, are extremely open and honest with each other, even when it hurts to be. This has helped our relationship become so much stronger. Being on the same page, with your spouse or significant other, makes all the difference. Communication is so key in all this!
These emotions, also, become super amplified when he is sick or tired.
As a parent, I feel, this has been my BIGGEST STRUGGLE and challenge! My husband and I, are constantly, asking ourselves, what do we do? Do we hit back? Or do we try to ignore it? Do we punish him? Or do we put him on timeout?
We understand, why he is throwing the fit, we understand, what causes these fits, we understand that, this is his way of trying to communicate with us. But, knowing all this, we still struggle with how to react in a way that is beneficial to him, and ultimately stops the behavior from being repeated.
What I’ve done!
So we have tried many things! The best thing that, has helped me, is to just stay CALM, LEVEL HEADED, and OFFER HELP. This can be extremely difficult to do, especially when he is inflicting pain on you.
In that case, I just walk away from him. This method takes practice, consistency, and doesn’t always work for me, but I really try! This way of reacting, has made me feel like, I am THRIVING. Not because, what I am doing is making him stop, OH NO. But, because, I feel like, it will pay off for him in the long run.
Hopefully, by reacting in this way, it will teach him to stop the behavior all together. But I think, once he gets older, and starts to understand how to commincate his emotions, rather than, acting them out, then, he will truely, get better with this behaviors. So in the meantime, I just need to BREATHE, and NOT be too HARD on MYSELF! This is part of the growing up process.
The alternative approach of yelling at him, or hitting back, makes me feel like I am failing my child, and I personally, don’t like the fearful look on his face when I’ve tried this ‘old school’ approach. So I have found, that the staying CALM, LEVEL HEADED, and OFFERING HELP, approach is working good for me, and my family! I hope this offers you some reassurance!
I find reassurance, in these precious moments. The smiles, make all those rough behaviors, that make me want to cry in the corner, all disappear! I am so grateful, for these special memories!